life without running

So life has not been as different as I thought it would be since I haven't been able to run.  I'm going on 4 weeks now.  My psyche has been a lot better than I had imagined.  We broke down and joined the y so I'm sure working out on the elliptical has helped.  I am def getting the itch to try running again, but I'm scared.  The warmer weather def makes it harder.  Andrew (my pt) says if I'm not feeling better by next week then I need to call my doc to get an MRI.  Speaking of Andrew, I couldn't believe what I did at pt the other day.  I always start the first ten minutes soaking my foot in the whirlpool tub.  Since it's been cold I always have pants on and I have to roll them up.  Well the other day it was warm and I had capris on.  I remember thinking to myself that wearing capris would be convenient since I wouldn't have to worry about rolling up my pants.  So I put my foot in the whirl pool.  The timer is about to go off and I look down.  My capris are soaking wet.  Turns out they were touching the water and absorbing the water the entire time.  I had no idea - I didn't feel it at all.  So I had to do all of my exercises/stretches in wet capris - fun!  Yeah, not so much. 

I won't be counting mileage any longer, but stay tuned b/c I'm hoping to begin training for the Philadelphia Marathon in November.  Obviously, this depends on the timing of my full recovery...

fail.

So I went to see Andrew today and it looks like no marathon for me.  I failed.  I don't know how I feel right now.  One second I'm devastated, the other I'm angry, then optimistic, then embarrassed, then nauseous, then frustrated, then bitter, then scared, then hopeful, then let down and the list keeps going.  I've never failed at running.  Any distance I set out, I conquered.  Any race I signed up for, I ran.  I would have never thought this would happen to me.  I didn't even think this was an option.  I signed up for a race, I paid $100 to run it and I followed a proper training program.  I even did ice baths!!!!!!!! Seriously?!?!?  There was never a thought that I wouldn't run it.  The only dumb thing I did was run a long distance with new sneakers - fail!  Ugh, I do not like that word.  The best part is I didn't ever once think to myself as I was running that this is prob not a good idea.  Andrew is the one who informed me of this dumb decision.  I've never had a problem with new sneakers.  I've never had a blister or new pain so why not run a Saturday run in them?  Well if I give anyone a piece of advice, don't run long distances in brand new sneakers without breaking them in with several short distances!  Another funny thing is that I didn't do any strength training this entire time.  I thought about it, but since the training program I was following didn't suggest it I thought I shouldn't.  I was afraid of over doing it.  Well that's another thing I've learned about achilles tendonitis - you need to build strong calf muscles to prevent it from happening again.  So I will be strength training when I begin training for the next marathon.  No, I am not giving up.  I still have a dream to run at least one marathon before I turn 30.  Actually, I'm still not throwing in the towel for this marathon.  I will need a miracle to complete it safely, but I'm not going to stop praying about it.  If all else fails, this race has a half marathon that I could drop down to.  Who knows what the next 4 weeks hold?  I sure don't.  But I'm going to take it one day at a time and let God do the rest.  But at the end of the day I still fail.

walk/run? okay, I'll try

So after talking to my mom last night (I told her how inclines were easier than declines on yesterday's run), she suggested I walk the inclines and run the declines.  What a great idea!  Why didn't I think of that?  So this morning I did a nice walk/run for 45 minutes.  Let me tell you, this injury is so weird!  Again when I first started walking I could tell my achilles wasn't feeling normal.  So I walked up my first incline then ran a flat surface - not too bad.  I continued to walk/run.  Well really it went walk-run-walk-run-walk-walk-walk-walk-run-walk-run-run-walk.  The weird part is that the first half was pretty challenging.  Almost as soon as I started running I had to stop.  Then when I would walk for about 30 seconds the pain was gone.  By about 35 minutes I could barely feel it when running - I was able to run twice as much by the end.  However, I did remember that something similar happened when I first hurt myself.  I kept pushing through and about 4 miles later (40 minutes) it felt better (still some pain, though) so I kept running.  I didn't push it today.  Whenever I felt pain I stopped and walked.  As of now when I walk I'm fine, which is a good sign.  I guess this will be my new workout for now.  Thanks mom!

308.25/407.25 miles complete!

week 14, day 4

I tried running today for the first time since I hurt my achilles (2 weeks).  I haven't been in any pain walking since Wednesday so I was pretty confident things would go well today.  My PT (Andrew) said he wanted me to warm up with walking for 5 minutes.  I'll admit my achilles did not feel normal during my warm up.  So I came back to my house to stretch some more.  I started running and about a quarter mile into my run it started to feel tight.  As the road started to slightly incline I could feel it more and more so I turned around to come home.  I was so bummed, but I swore I was going to listen to my body for now on.  It's so funny - I felt like a wuss if I stopped.  I kept thinking it's not even that painful - I can keep running.  I had to nip that frame of mind right way.  When I turned around to come home I was now running on a slight decline and it didn't bother me so I continued.  About 3 minutes later I could feel the tightness again so I stopped and walked home.  While I was walking home (prob the last .3 miles) I didn't feel anything.  I would def say I am healing, but obviously my body needs more time.  I'm going to listen to it and do just that.  I know God has a plan so I will be submissive...here's to a relaxing weekend!  No mapping out any long distance runs for me.  Instead I'll be icing, stretching and strengthening.

305/403 miles complete!

week 14, days 2 & 3 (more crosstraining)

So yesterday and today I felt great!  I had absolutely no pain while walking.  Going up/down stairs wasn't painful, just tight at times.  The elliptical was harder for me yesterday than any of the other days.  I forgot my water and I was so thirsty.  I had to get off 3 times in 45 minutes.  Today's workout was much better.  I was able to do an hour.  I'm so excited for Friday tomorrow for several reasons!  Hopefully it's my last day on the elliptical for a while, the weather is going to be nice and I have PT.  The weather is not looking too promising for Saturday, so I'm planning on running on Sunday.  I am so excited!  Here's to hoping I can get some decent mileage in...I've already lost 42 miles -- so crazy!  I can't believe that!

304/421 miles complete!

week 14, day 1 (still cross training)

So I am definitely feeling much better.  I have been cross training on the elliptical every day since Saturday and plan to for the rest of this week.  I went to PT today and he was pleased with the exercises I could do.  He had me do an eccentric exercise that mimics a single heal drop using the leg press.  I had to push up onto my toes, let off my right toe and lower the weight slowly with my left toe (my injured achilles foot).  He told me to try 2 sets of 10 with 30 pounds and if that felt ok to do a 3rd set.  I was nervous that this was going to kill me, but it didn't hurt at all and I ended up doing 3 sets!  He also put me on electric stimulation which felt awesome.  Then, he told me the best news yet - I can try running this weekend!  Obviously I'm not going to get in the 19 miles that I had hoped for, but at least I'm making progress.  I'm going to head out without a distance in mind and if I feel any pain at all I'm going to call Brent - lol!  I'm not even going to try to walk home.  I am not risking another injury!  Here's to enjoying the elliptical (and free Y membership) for 3 more days!

304/431 miles complete!

week 13 ,day 4 (of rest/cross training)

So I went to PT yesterday and he was a bit puzzled.  He moved my foot and pushed on it in all different directions and nothing hurt me.  He had me toe rises to aggravate it then he squeezed around my tendon - that didn't feel too good.  He's not sold on the fact that it's tendonitis, which is a good thing, right?  But he def says there's inflammation.  He rolled a heated ultrasound on it for a while - that felt great.  Then he massaged it for about 10 or 15 minutes which felt fabulous!  I could have laid there all day!  He instructed me not to run this weekend - ugh!  Obviously I was not happy about that!  But, I listened and I didn't run.  I went all the elliptical yesterday for 30 minutes and today for an hour though.  He did encourage me to do that.  I see him again on Tuesday so we'll see what he says.  It seems to be getting better while walking on flat surfaces, but stairs are hit or miss.  Most times it bothers it, but sometimes not.  So for now I will be cross training on the elliptical, icing and doing some stretches that he showed me.  I'm really missing running, but I will admit that I actually enjoyed the elliptical yesterday and today.  I've been working on keeping in mind that this marathon is just one race.  If skipping this race ensures that I will continue to be able to run otherwise then it's worth it.  But that's not to say I won't try for it again.  My goal was to run one before I turned 30 so I still have time! 

304/436 miles complete! (yes, I only subtracted 12 - next weekend's distance, hoping to run 19 then)

week 13, day 3 (of rest and mental agony)

So I'm really trying not to be negative, but the unknown is absolutely killing me!  While I can not wait to get to PT tomorrow morning, I am scared for what he has to say.  I keep reading about achilles tendonitis and recovery - it does not look good at all.  It's really scaring the crap out of me!  The funny thing is that I don't even know if that's really what it is yet.  I've only been to my primary doc and all he did was look at my tendon, squeeze it and roll my ankle around.  Clearly he is not a specialist in achilles tendonitis, so I shouldn't be so worked up!  Ha, that's way easier said than done.  It's not even anymore about being unable to complete the marathon, it's more about the chance that I may not be able to run anymore period!  I love running.  I seriously don't know what I would do if I couldn't run.  I know, I know calm down, be patient and wait until you see what the PT says!  I am a firm believer that God has a plan.  You'd think this would help me let things go better than I do, but no, instead I over analyze everything!  Anyway today's day of rest went well.  I pretty much felt the same as I did yesterday.  I could walk with little pain, however going up and down stairs seemed to be more manageable.  Here's to prayers that my PT has the knowledge to help me recover!  Meanwhile, I'll be dreaming of running...

304/448 miles complete!

week 13, day 2 (of "sorta" rest)

So I talked to some health teachers that gave me some insight into achilles tendonitis.  One of them recommended I continue some sort of aerobic activity like riding the stationary bike rather than resting completely.  She thought this would help me retain my aerobic stamina so that when (if) I go back to running it won't be as difficult.  Now, I despise riding the bike.  I don't know what it is, but it has always been quite uncomfortable to me.  I just don't enjoy it at all.  Regardless, I got up early this morning and hopped on the bike at the y for an hour (thank God I went and got a free 2 week pass last week).  It wasn't nearly as bad as I remembered.  It def sucked to watch the small amount of calories pass by.  I only burned about 188 calories in a half hour opposed to 280 when running.  I kept reminding myself of PMA.  I plan to do the same tomorrow and possibly Friday.  I can say I def felt better today.  I could walk normally without pain for a decent amount of time.  When I could feel pain it wasn't nearly as bad as the last couple of days.  I'm not sure if it's just the anti-inflammatory or if I'm actually beginning to heal, either way I'll take it.  The other health teacher had asked if I was going to physical therapy.  Funny, my doctor didn't suggest that.  So, I went ahead and scheduled my first physical therapy appointment for Friday morning anyway.  I'm really hoping that a) this will aid in speeding up my recovery, b) they'll tell me I can run this weekend and c) I'll learn some prevention techniques to keep this from happening again.  Wish me luck!

304/453 miles complete!

week 13, day 1 (of rest, that is)

Yes, you read correctly, that says rest - ugh!  I am taking this week off hoping that I will recover from what seems to be achilles tendonitis due to overuse.  As mentioned in my previous post, I woke up Sunday unable to walk without pain.  This seemed so odd to me.  I have never had any pain in my achilles area - so not cool!  Well I went to the doctor today and he prescribed rest and an awesome anti-inflammatory.  I have def come to terms with the fact that I will not be running for the rest of this week.  However, I am really struggling with the fact that if I am not feeling better on Friday, I should not run on Saturday.  This is going to really be a struggle!  I am supposed to run 19 miles and I will be a def headcase if I have to skip that run.  I am just going to stick with having a positive mental attitude (PMA) meanwhile I'll be praying for a speedy recovery.

304/458 miles complete

week 12, day 4

Yaaaaaaaaaay! I reached the 300 mile marker!  I can not believe I have run this many miles.  The sad thing is that, at this point, this may be all the miles I run for a while.  On Thursday's run I felt some tightness in my lower left leg, but continued to run.  Well it soon warmed up and felt better but I began to feel some discomfort in my ankle.  Once again, I continued to run.  I got back from my run and felt ok.  The rest of the day I was fine.  On Friday I felt some tenderness in my achilles.  Friday night I iced my achilles.  I woke up Saturday feeling some tenderness still, but I planned on running the 13 miles I intended for that day.  As soon as I set out to run my achilles was really bothering me.  It wasn't a shooting pain, but it definitely didn't feel good.  I continued to run.  By mile 4 it began to feel better.  I barely had any pain at all so I figured okay this can't be that bad of an injury if it feels better, right?  I met Bekie at mile 7 and continued to run 6 more miles.  I felt pretty good though.  There were still times that I felt some tenderness in my achilles, but not nearly as bad as when I began the run.  However, once I got home I could not go up or down the stairs without major pain.  So I immediately took advil, elevated my leg and iced.  I was so cold so I had to get a shower.  As soon as I was finished I iced more though (20 mins off 20 mins off for about an hour and a half).  We went out to dinner with my parents.  It still hurt to go up and down stairs, but walking on a flat surface was fine.  I iced for 20 minutes when we got back from dinner.  Then I went to bed.  I woke up this morning still unable to walk up or down stairs, but unable to walk on flat surfaces as well.  What the heck?  I can't believe this is happening to me!  Yeah, I prob shouldn't have continued to run yesterday, but besides that I have done nothing to risk an injury.  I am so frustrated and scared!  I iced for another 20 minutes this morning, but then I had to get ready for the Phillies game.  I took advil and iced 3 more times on the way to the game.  I still have pain when walking!  I am going to continue to ice and hope for the best.  If I have to I will skip this week's runs, but there is no way I can skip Saturday's run - 19 miles.  If I have to skip that then I'm done.  No more marathon for me.  I can't believe these words are coming out of my mouth!  All of this hard work for nothing?  No way, this can not be happening.  Please - someone have good news for me.  Anyone?  Maybe I am just not cut out to accomplish such a goal?  All I can do is pray that this heals extremely quickly!


304/463 miles complete!

week 12, day 3

I find it pretty funny that I forgot to blog this run until now (2 days later).  I guess I have too much going on.  When I checked the hourly weather on Wednesday, I was expecting to wake up to rain on Thursday morning.  I got lucky and only woke up to misting.  The run started out well.  Soon enough my lower left leg started to bother me again.  However, it seemed to move to a different spot.  By the end of my run I was feeling some tightness around the bottom my leg - near my achilles.  I came home and iced right away.  My knees felt fine the whole time thanks to more pain cream.  The rest of the run was good.  We ran 5.1 miles in 50: 51 (9:58).  The misting water felt so weird on my face.  I didn't step in any puddles (poor Leaha did, though), but my feet got wet anyway.  When I got home my new white socks were now wet and gray.  This did not happen the last time I ran in this kind of weather.  I did wear different shoes though.  I have 13 miles to run today and I keep thinking "yaaay I only have 13 miles this week."  It's so funny how your mentality changes as you increase mileage.  That used to be the furthest I ever ran and now it feels like "only 13".  We'll see how that actually feels today!  Let's hope for no rain.  The hourly says rain at 11 but dry from 12-2, so I'm heading out at 12.

291/463 miles complete!