random thoughts

So I've had a lot of time on my hands lately since school has been out.  I have been doing a lot of thinking...too much thinking.  Even though it is officially summer vacation I still don't feel like it is.  Just like I never felt like it was the end of the school year.  I've never felt like this before.  Maybe it's because I have made an effort to continue getting up early (at least before 8, except for T/Th - I've been getting up to continue to go to group power at 5:30).  This week I've had a lot of time to myself since Brent and most of my friends work.  I've thought a lot about how much I have to be thankful for, I've thought a lot about getting up off the couch to do some housework, I've thought a lot about food and eating, I've thought a lot about what my body looked like this time last year (10 days before my wedding).  I know that body is unrealistic to maintain for life - that is if I want to enjoy life...I love to eat all kinds of food!  As I get closer to 30 I have def noticed a change in my body.  I am carrying weight in different places and I am definitely getting softer.  Instead of dwelling on these negative feelings I am striving to have a healthy life style.  I've also thought a lot about the fact that I feel sad for no reason at all.  I have Jesus as my savior, an amazing husband, an awesome family, fabulous friends and a great job.  Why would I feel down?  So the last couple of days I've really been focusing on the positive and I am feeling a lot better.  I've gotten a lot done around the house, I've been concentrating on eating balanced and I've increased the amount of time I spend working out as well as adding new workouts.  I've been doing some P90X, group power, the elliptical, the stepper and I've continued running.  I don't really have a set schedule, which is actually nice.  I just do whatever workout I feel like doing that day.  Running is the only one I have to think more about, just because I don't want to push it.  My ankle has really been bothering me and my achilles has felt really tight.  In fact on Monday when I was running I had only run 2 miles when I had to stop and stretch because it was bothering me so much.  However, after I stretched I was able to run 2 more miles.  I have yet to get passed 5 miles (I ran for 60 minutes once).  Needless to stay it has bothered me so much I went to the doctor yesterday.  He suggested an MRI so that's where I'm headed tomorrow.  Since I am planning on running a half marathon in September and would really like to try training again for a marathon I want to make sure there is nothing major going on with my foot.  I don't want to be stupid again.  I need peace of my mind.  With that being said I'm trying very hard to stay positive.  This morning I began to think "Ok, so what am I going to do when my doctor says I can no longer run?"  Yea, no those thoughts are not helpful!  I am going to pray about it and go in with an open mind.  Only God knows what tomorrow holds.