escaping reality

It has been a month since I've written and I think it's because I don't want to face reality.  Once I post it, it's real for everyone to see including myself.  So here goes nothing...after my first MRI my doctor called with the results.  He said I had no structural damage anywhere, but that my achilles looked irritated.  I could continue to run, but it would be essential for me to ice and stretch before and after each run.  I was on vacation when I got the results.  I ran 5 days that week (more than I ever run) because there were no other workouts available to me.   On my fifth run I set out to run 5 miles.  My cousin and Brent dropped me off in a state park in Va Beach.  I had no idea how long the trail was, but set out to run.  I used my gps on my phone to figure out it was a five mile trail from one end to the next.  After about half way through it my achilles began to feel tired and tight (which is nothing new), but so was the side of my leg -about 3 inches above my ankle.  When I stopped to stretch it felt like it the muscle was tearing away from my bone.  There was also some soft tissue protruding.  So here I am in the middle of the woods on some trail I've never run before.  I have definitely felt the sensation of my muscle being torn from my shin before, but it was years ago and just recently it has come up sporadically so I hadn't thought much about it.  I thought it was some sort of shin splint since it wasn't nagging and would go away on it's own (never lasted for more than 5 mins after a run).  So I kept running.  I finished the run and it didn't feel as bad as it did before.  However, I still felt it for the next 2 days (not as bad).  I called the doctor when we got back on Monday and went in that afternoon.  He was worried that I could have a stress fracture or compartment syndrome of the lower leg.  He had me schedule another MRI - this time for my lower leg (of course they couldn't see the area on my other MRI since it was focused on my ankle/achilles).  I just got the results for this MRI last Friday.  Thankfully there is no fracture, however there is definitely stress on my tibia (shin bone) and I have to get orthotics to prevent a stress fracture.  He thinks this will make a big difference and I will be able to continue running.  I'm going on Wednesday to see a foot and ankle specialist to get the ball rolling.  I feel like an old woman and I'm only 28!  Ha, the lengths I will go to run...let's hope this is it!  If it isn't, am I really going to try something else just so I can continue to run?  It's so hard for me because I feel like I should just suck it up and do other types of workouts for exercise, but I truly love running.  It does so many things for me.  It gives me a quiet time to think, pray and reflect on life.  It gives me energy, discipline and goals.  It has made me new friends and closer with old friends.  It allows me to eat whatever I want (well pretty much).  It's freeing, it's fun, it's challenging, it relieves stress and I miss it!!